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This Love-Hate Thing We Got Going On

Elena • SAN DIEGO, CA

University of San Diego


Your first car. Whether it was from your own hard-earned money or through the generous support of the parental unit, we all remember that first, elated moment we experienced when the epiphany struck us, and we realized "THIS IS MY CAR!" I was one of the lucky ones gifted a new car, and boy was I in love, maybe not particularly to the make and model, but to the keys that were handed to me and the promise of freedom and adventure to come.

Just like a teenager in love for the first time, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was too high up on cloud nine for any rationalities to bring me back down to the real world, and similarly to how neglect and the lack of care destroys relationships between people, the poor choices I made started to wreak havoc between my car and I. I allowed too many people into this particular relationship, being irresponsible, trusting others to drive my car even after my parents time and time again warned me of the consequences. To sum it short, I had to learn the hard way, three times. Three times my poor baby was pretty badly damaged, and the fact that I was not even driving, made it even worse, because I allowed it to happen through my foolish, poorly-thought out decisions.

Of course it sucked that my car had to be in the shop, but the worst part of these experiences was the disappointment I brought to my parents and forced upon them all this unnecessary emotional and financial stress. As much as I loved having my car and the freedoms that it came with, I hated it too, often contemplating why it had to be me that these accidents happened to. With cars being involved in accidents, comes the higher possibilities of future problems too, and lo and behold, my car sometimes feels like a never-ending headache to deal with whether it is one part or another that decides things are not going so well and malfunctions.

Sometimes I have the days when I just want to talk to my car and say, "I love you, but I also hate you almost as much as the same time for all the things we have had to gone through."

But I found the silver lining, through all the wrecks and accidents, my car has not only been the one that brought me from Point A to Point B, it has helped me gain some clarity that I might not have had otherwise, and be able to see some people for who they truly are through their actions once they realized they caused the damage to my car. Unfortunately, not everyone who drove my vehicle and then wrecked it has handled the situation with the poise and grace I expected out of my friends, but in time I have come to peace with it. My family took care of my car and I, and we moved on, but through the accidents, it showed me the true character of my "friends" in how they handled the situation, and that these are toxic people that I should not want in my inner circle. Although, I wish it did not take three accidents and thousands of dollars in damages, my first car taught me to make better decisions especially in the people I trust, realize that parents are ALWAYS right, and to find the silver lining that is there even through these bad times. 

So car, here we are, together still after all these people and events attempted to break us up. Sometime in the future, we might not be together anymore, but you will always be my first love and the things you have taught me, I will never forget. This love-hate thing we got going on, it's not as bad as it sounds, because how would I learn to appreciate the sunshine if it never rains?



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